
We all have quirks that make us unique. These may range anywhere between cute and endearing to annoying and frustrating.
If you have habits that tend to get in the way to how you actually want to function in the world, they are worth paying attention to, understanding and working on. Find out below if any of them fit into the 5 signs of anxiety.
The following signs tend to emerge after feeling a certain amount of stress. I say "certain amount" because the amount will vary from person to person, situation to situation.
Kind of like how you might experience an allergy or intolerance to something. For example, say you have hayfever, but your friend doesn't. A little bit of pollen in the air will set off your symptoms, whereas you friend will be able to tolerate much more, and they may never experience the itchy, eye watering symptoms.
Living with anxiety is like having a psychological and emotional allergy, and the following signs are the responses to it, like scratching the itch to a physical allergy.
#1 - Avoidance.
Avoiding in investing your time and energy into relationships, learning something new, doing something new, because the outcomes are uncertain.
This may look like finding excuses, reasons and imaginary obstacles not to do these things.
#2 - Procrastination.
This is when you put something off, what you could just do right away.
This is a CLOSE second, because everyone I speak to about this procrastinates, including myself.
Procrastination might look like putting off phone calls or texting back, because you're not sure how you will come across and even the thought of formulating a response is too much of a headache to deal with right now.
It can also look like organizing your miscellaneous drawer instead of doing homework.
“Nothing makes a person more productive than the last minute.” — Source unknown
#3 - Wanting to do everything yourself, and not delegating tasks to others.
This might look like insisting on doing all the housework yourself, because 'no one else will be able to do it properly'.
But it could also look like just feeling too damn uncomfortable to ask for help, as if you're burdening others if you do. It might feel like you're protecting others from feeling put out or uncomfortable. You could be overprotecting others by doing things for them.
Even though your heart is in the right place, this trait prevents others from learning new things, or fostering independence. It also will lead to your own burnout, and prevent you from learning how to implement healthy boundaries.
#4 - Seeking reassurance or gathering a lot of information.
If you're about to make a big purchase, such as booking a vacation, buying a new phone or car, then looking for a lot of information and seeking reassurance seems healthy and appropriate.
But this might go towards excessive if the same behaviour happens when deciding where to eat, what movie to watch, or deciding on an activity.
Seeking reassurance is the same as seeking validation, and all of this comes from a fear of being misunderstood.
#5 - Questioning yourself and your decisions, or double checking things by re-doing them.
You might tell yourself the story that you are indecisive, and it is normal for you to go back and forth between decisions. Committing and sticking to your first decision feels terrifying because you doubt yourself so much.
You might double check things that you usually do automatically, whilst on autopilot. Or you may even spend all morning wondering if you actually locked the door on your way out, because you were not present at the time you actually did it.
How to resist scratching the itch.
They say that the more you scratch the itch, the worse it will get. The same is true with these signs listed above.
Begin by being conscious of when these behaviours show up. Then make the decision to stop them. Pick only one at a time though!
Lets say you begin with procrastination. Decide to do the thing you have been avoiding at a scheduled time.
Expect there to be some discomfort. The itch is very seductive and it will try its best to pull you in. See if you can observe the discomfort without scratching it (without procrastinating, without hitting the snooze button, without watching just one more episode), and do the thing.
What you observe from this will give you a lot of data. If you are successful, great! Recognize the hard work and pat yourself on the back. If you are not, still recognize the effort and give yourself compassion, before trying again.
Reference
Dugas, M. J. (2004). Cognitive behavioral treatment of generalized anxiety disorder. Hopital du Sacre-Coeur de Montreal: Concordia University.
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